


sore throats

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Connor Lives AU, Connor can't stay angry when Evan needs his help, Connor decides kissing is better than punching things, Connor is angry, Cuddles, Kissing, Larry is a dick, M/M, Pizza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 11:36:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11103774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Connor is angry and ends up kissing Evan a lot.





	sore throats

He saw red. 

It was red and there was static, and he was screaming so loud that his chest felt tight, the muscles constricting tightly as Larry’s voice howled back at him. Connor twisted and threw an arm out, catching one of the chairs and sending it crashing to the ground. The haze was starting to clear some as he vented his frustrations - albeit in the unhealthiest way possible - and he caught a glimpse of his mother shrinking back into the kitchen to avoid his rage. 

Connor scowled, slamming a hand on the table and shoving their pile of mail to the floor, sending it all scattering. He vaguely heard Zoe’s voice there, too, but he was glaring daggers at Larry in an attempt to burn a hole through his head. His breathing was laboured and he was still tight, tight and wound up, and he clenched his fists. He wouldn’t break anything, he wouldn’t break anything,  _ he wouldn’t break anything _ . 

“Fuck this.” The anger had drained from his voice but not from his head, and that static was still going in his ears. “I’m going to smoke.” 

“You will absolutely  _ not _ , young man.” Larry took a step forward, rising up in an attempt to be intimidating.

Connor sneered. “Right. And what are you gonna do? Take my door? Throw away my stash? Hit me?” He spread his arms in a mock-open gesture. “By all means, do what you want.” 

Larry was saying something, but Connor couldn’t hear it over the white noise in his head. So he did the thing he knew would piss off his dad even more, and he gave the biggest shit-eating grin he could muster while his head was fuzzy and the scarred skin on his arms burned and itched furiously. Larry’s face went red, and Connor counted that as a personal victory. 

“And you still continue to disappoint me,” Larry hissed. 

“It’s my only purpose in life,” Connor gave a small finger-guns motion.  

He turned on heel and stalked out of the kitchen, listening to the buzzing as it got louder, and damn it he needed a hit. He climbed the stairs, skipping the creaking steps out of habit, and when he got to his room he wished he had a door to slam. He found his weed stash that was buried in the bottom of his underwear drawer and pulled it out to prep it. His hands were shaking as he shifted and stuck a hand in his pocket to look for a lighter. 

And his phone went off. 

Connor wouldn’t normally check his phone when he was angry, but he had purposefully changed  _ that  _ contact to a different ringtone than the rest. He immediately froze in place, his baggie and pipe tucked into his elbow and one hand deep in his pocket, fingers curled around a lighter. He slowly pulled his hand out of his pocket and deposited his pipe and stash back where they blonged, shutting the drawer halfway as he took the two steps across to his bed and fished his phone out from where it was buried under the mess of sheets.  It took him longer than necessary, but he noticed a few missed skype messages from the group chat and a more important text from  _ Evan _ .

 

_ [From: Evan; 7:18pm] _

_ My mom isn’t home and I need to order pizza. _

 

_ [From: Evan; 7:19pm]  _

_ Can you come over to help me? _

 

_ [To: Evan; 7:19] _

_ can i have some? _

 

_ [From: Evan; 7:20pm] _

_ Of course! _

 

_ [To: Evan; 7:21pm] _

_ gimme 10 _

 

_ [From: Evan; 7:21pm] _

_ Thank you so much. _

 

Connor stuffed his phone in his pocket, snapped his hairtie against his wrist, and threw a cautious look at his doorway. He could hear Cynthia and Larry arguing downstairs, but there was no input from Zoe. She probably had her headphones on to block out the noise. He fixed his hiding spot for his pipe, readjusting the underwear drawer to its previous appearance, and he shut it. He ignored the cold guilt that settled in his gut - he had told Evan he would try to stop smoking. 

He had broken the lock on his window three days ago, but as he looked down at the distance he decided he really didn’t want to risk Larry seeing him out the window on the front of the house. 

And Zoe’s room had the tree. Connor moved quickly, ducking through the hallway and into Zoe’s room. He slid up her window and leaped for the oak tree outside her window, scrabbling for purchase. Zoe’s room had originally been his, but when he was a sophomore and started getting into some heavier shit, his parents decided the best course of action was to have the siblings switch room, leaving Connor with the drainpipe on the side of the house and a thin slip of roof. Zoe, on the other hand, had an oak tree that was tall enough and sturdy enough that the two of them were easily able to slip out of the house when they needed to. 

Connor got his balance before he dropped down to the branch below him, and he continued at a steady pace until he was at one of the base branches, and he jumped. 

He landed awkwardly and almost toppled over, but he caught his balance and bolted. 

He ran the whole way to Evan’s house. He had a stitch in his side by the time he got there, and he cursed the fact that his car keys were locked in his parents bedside table. It’s not like he could hurt himself with them, but he supposed this whole running thing could help him get into shape. And, at least, he was able to get out some of his lingering frustration by “pounding the ground into submission” as Zoe liked to call it. 

The door was open by the time Connor was at the front steps, and he blinked at the sight of Evan an oversized hoodie and flannel pajama bottoms, holding the door open for him and looking at him with a soft, tired look.  _ Cute _ . He stepped into the house, unlacing his boots and dropping them next to Evan’s. He kicked the door shut, careful to not use too much force as to not splinter the wood. . 

And immediately enveloped Evan into a hug that was probably a little painful for the both of them. Evan squeaked in surprise but he didn’t pull back, burying one hand in the front of Connor’s hoodie and throwing his injured arm to cross over his shoulders. It was awkward, but as Connor buried his face into Evan’s shoulder, he knew it was  _ safe _ . 

“Connor?” 

Connor hummed in response, just holding the shorter boy and letting his entire being sink into the comfort that Evan naturally provided. Evan squeezed connor with his bad arm and pulled back some, a frown on his lips and his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Fight.” Connor finally answered. “Everything went red again and I bolted.” 

Evan let out a small, “Oh”, but didn’t say anything else. He just let Connor hold him until the taller of the two pulled away, and Evan reached to hold his hand. 

“I think we have hot chocolate packets still.” 

Connor blinked and then a small, tired smile broke out on his face. The white noise from earlier had died down some - still there, but not as intense. Evan led him into the kitchen and went to dig through cupboards before he found a mug, and he filled it with milk. He put it into the microwave and then went to the, admittedly bare, pantry. Indeed, there were a few packets of hot chocolate left, and Evan snatched one as the microwave beeped. 

“So did you order pizza?” Connor asked. 

“Online.” Evan confirmed. He could do that, Connor knew, but Evan still teared up at the idea of opening the door to actually get the pizza. Evan let go of Connor’s hand to mix together the powder and the steaming milk, and Connor just watched as Evan stirred the warm drink in the ceramics, the spoon clinking against the sides. 

The warm cup is pressed into Connor’s hands and he has no hesitation as he brings it to his lips. Warmth spreads from his fingertips to his core as he drinks, Evan hopping up to sit on the counter, and they stay in the soft, comfortable silence. 

“Did everything go red again?” Evan asked, gently brushing away the quiet.

“Red and loud.” Connor responded, moving to rinse out his now-empty mug and let it soak off the extra hot chocolate. “I don’t even remember what started it, I just remember it being loud and I was angry.” 

“The usual.”

Connor hummed a confirmation and Evan slid off the counter, closing the distance between them. Evan wasn’t really all that much shorter than Connor, it was only a couple of inches, and he rested his forehead against Connor’s. 

“I’m tired of being angry.” Connor mumbled. “I’m always exhausted after being angry, and it’s getting real fucking annoying.” 

“It’s a lot of emotional strain,” Evan responded. His voice was soft, and Connor appreciated that they were just being quiet. “I’m tired after panic attacks, almost everyone just wants to sleep after they cry and scream.” 

One hand had tentatively reached to rest over Connor’s heart, and Connor covered it with his own. 

The doorbell went off and the moment fell apart. Evan flushed pink, stepped back, and he went to grab money. Connor took it from him without a word and met the delivery man at the door. There was no small talk as the two of them exchanged the currency for the meal, and Connor only hummed at the deadpan “Have a good night,” that was offered. 

Connor set down the pizza and smiled at Evan’s breathless  _ “Thank you,” _ before the box was open and they both took a slice. 

Together, they ate most of the box, just talking about school and people and anything they could think of. Evan started to list off tree facts at some point, and in response Connor would repeat back bird facts. They went back and forth like that for a while, but Connor ran out of general fun facts about anything long before Evan would run out of his own tree facts. 

“You and your extensive knowledge of nature.” Connor groaned, tipping his head back in exasperation. He was rewarded with a laugh, and Connor rested a hand on his stomach. 

“It’s mostly trees, but I knew some of those bird facts you were throwing out earlier.” Evan grinned, setting down his plate and rocking forward, purposefully landing squarely on Connor’s chest. He groaned, playfully batting at the other boy, and Evan’s laughter resonated in his own chest. 

Connor looked back at Evan to find a warm, soft smile aimed at him, and his heart jumped into his throat at the look of complete and utter affection Evan was giving him. 

Evan sat up some, relieving the pressure on Connor’s abdomen, but then there were warm lips pressed against his and it took Connor’s brain a moment to catch up. 

Evan was pulling back, something akin to hurt and panic flashing across his expression, but Connor didn’t see or process anything else as he grabbed for the fabric of Evan’s sweatshirt and yanked him back into a kiss. 

They tasted like pizza and grease, and Connor still had a lingering taste of hot chocolate in his mouth. It was  weird combination, but he really didn’t care because he was kissing Evan Hansen, and there was no way he was going to let this opportunity pass him by. 

Evan’s fingers had made their way into Connor's hair but he didn’t really think too hard about it, just shifting some to be more comfortable and to pull Evan closer. 

Evan squeaked as their chests made contact, and incidentally yanked on the dark strands. A groan was pulled from Connor’s lips and Evan froze, sitting up and staring at Connor with flushed cheeks and blown pupils. Connor blinked and the lazy heat in his stomach was diminished by the inferno building in his cheeks. 

“Uh…” Connor coughed, avoiding Evan’s gaze, but then there were lips against his and Evan pulled on Connor’s hair.  _ Hard _ . Connor whimpered and wrapped his arms around Evan, keeping the two of them pressed together, and Evan seemed to like the noises he was drawing, if the glimpse of a grin he got said anything. 

Evan pulled back before anything could escalate much more, hands resting just under Connor’s diaphragm to hold him up, and it took Connor a moment to know the buzzing was gone. 

“Y’know,” Connor drawled, taking in the sight of Evan, with messy hair and red cheeks. “You should kiss me like that whenever I get angry. I think the buzzing is gone.” 

“Jesus Christ.” Evan toppled backwards, leaning away from Connor and shoving at his thighs and side with his feet. “You’re gross.” 

“Says the one who started kissing me in the first place?” Connor sat up and moved so that he was perched over Evan, caging the other beneath him with an absolutely dopey grin. He kissed Evan on the cheek, and then the jaw, and Evan shifted to pull Connor down on top of him to connect their lips again. 

They kissed for a while, lazily and long because right now they had all the time in the world. Eventually Evan squirmed out from underneath him to go put away pizza, and Connor just laid on the couch and buried his grin in the pillows that were settled on the couch. Evan was back in what felt like no time at all, and Connor rolled over to have Evan flop down on top of him and curl up. Connor, without really think about it, draped his arms around Evan and thought about the way that their legs tangled together. 

Evan’s head rested on his chest, ear pressed against where Connor was pretty sure his heart was, and they just stayed like that in a soft, comfortable silence. Evan laced their fingers together. 

“Evan?” 

Connor looked down to find the other boy sleeping soundly, fingers loosely threaded into his own, and he felt warmth and affection build in his chest. 

He reached for his phone and pulled up the group chat.

**Author's Note:**

> \--> Okay, so this kind has to do with my other deh fic "talking too much" because in one of the chapters Connor escapes to Evan's house, but some of the details are a little screwy because by the time I went back to check I decided i didn't care enough to fix it. This is entirely self-indulgent and I just wanted to write something warm and happy because I am stressed the FUCK out rn. I'll get back to ttm soon, I promise!!!
> 
> \--> I just. I love these boys. This started with me writing angry Connor, but I'm bad at prolonged screaming-anger and I'm not creative enough to find dialogue. So. yeah. Have this.


End file.
